August 2012
39 posts
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Husband Fail
Dictator: Mama, your birfday soon?
Me: Yep, next week!
Husband: NEXT week?!
July 2012
37 posts
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PSA for Paper Coterie / Photobook Lovers
I am obsessed with this website - the quality of their products is amazing. I can’t tell you how many memory boxes and photo books I’ve made since jessamama first turned me onto them.
Today through Monday, you can buy their gift cards for up to 70% off. I just scored $300 worth of gift cards for $90.
And if you’re suuuuper cheap like I am, get on their mailing list and wait...
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Oh, Good Lord.
I posted a picture of teeny tiny Dictator on Facebook yesterday with a note similar to the one I wrote here, expressing our gratitude to her birthparents for creating our family.
Twenty (lovely) comments and happy birthday wishes for Dictator, and someone posted this: “Beautiful note. Happy Birthday D__. So when are they making you another one?”
“So when are they making you...
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Video Would Have Been Even Better
I decided that streamers and a couple of balloons weren’t going to cut it for the Dictator’s birthday dinner tonight, so I wrapped the top of the dining room table in the same paper I used to wrap her presents.
After she’d unwrapped her gifts, Dictator announced that she was ready to open “the big one”.
It took a full five minutes for us to figure out what she was...
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At This Time Four Years Ago...
…I was getting ready for work after a sleepless night spent thinking about the brave young woman and very special man who were working hard to bring our baby into the world.
My day at work was unproductive, to say the least, and shortly after I got home that evening, I got the most beautiful text I’ve ever received. Our daughter was born, and our family grew not by one, but by three...
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I Get the Picture, Nannie.
Colour me surprised when I logged into Facebook and, despite having not posted anything new in days, found 40 new notifications.
My grandmother has discovered the ‘like’ button.
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“Daddy’s nose bleeding because he picked it? He too big to pick his nose,...”
– Why does she always use her loudest possible voice at the grocery store?
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That Was Quite Possibly the Most Disgusting Bath...
It’s safe to say the Dictator brought home a significant portion of the Moira River.
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She Needs to Get Out More
A few gems from our first few days in the country with our extremely suburban girl:
Driving by a field of hay bales: “Where are all the cows, Mama? I think prob’ly they all are at the petting zoo.”
While picking tomatoes from Grandma’s garden: “Grandma, let’s go buy one more tomato from your garden.”
While swimming in the river: “This is the...
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I May Have Set My Make-Up Gun To "Whore"
I stopped bothering with the (minimal) make-up I used to wear when I stopped working a couple of months ago.
I think I forgot how to apply blush.
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The Footlight Club: All this Daniel Tosh shit made... →
thefootlightclub:
To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem. I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would...
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Boobs
thekelsmith replied to your post: Things That Are Really Fucking Awesome Today
I’m doing the bra thing soon myself! Any tips? I’m kinda nervous!
Be prepared to be semi-nude in front of a stranger. A stranger who will touch you. Near your bathing suit area.
Be prepared to spend half a paycheque on a bra if you’re busty. If you’re not busty, I am supremely jealous, but you should...
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Things That Are Really Fucking Awesome Today
I got professionally fitted for a bra. I look like I’ve lost 10lbs and my rack looks marvellous. My boobs will never be the same. (Neither will my wallet. Yowza.)
The Husband’s stepmother took me and Dictator downtown for some window shopping today. She got called to tend to a work thing towards the end, but before she left she handed me her credit card and told me to go back to the...
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This Must Be That "New Math"
Husband: [holding up fingers] What's two... plus two?
Dictator: Four!
Husband: What's four... plus two?
Dictator: one two three four five SIX
Husband: Six! Good!
Dictator: Again!
Husband: Three... plus one.
Dictator: One two three FOUR!
Husband: Five... plus two.
Dictator: One two three four five six... [grins] NINE!
Husband: No, do it properly.
Dictator: [grins] TEN!
Husband: Try again from the beginning. Two... plus five.
Dictator: One two three four five six... SEVEN!
Husband: So what's five plus two?
Dictator: Um... Rock.
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Oh...! Silly Mama, Indeed.
Dictator: Oh no! There's a shark in the pool!
Me: Oh no! Swim away little fish!
Dictator: I not a little fish!
Me: You're not? Are you a big fish?
Dictator: Noooooo!
Me: Are you a mermaid?
Dictator: Nooooo! You are silly, Mama! I am Dictator! I just wearing a bathing suit, that's all! I am still Dictator, with my brown eyes and my brown hair. Just my bathing suit make me look like a mermaid!
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So Much For No Muss, No Fuss
My in-laws have a pool, and because Dictator often pulls the “ohmygodIhavetopeerightthissecond” card when she’s doing anything fun (especially when she’s swimming), we’ve been letting her pee in a weedy corner of the yard so as to minimize accidents and the amount of water tracked into the house. No muss, no fuss, just drop trou and pee.
Today, she pooped there.
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It's Just a Jump to the Left... And a Step to the...
Solo living room dance parties are way more fun when you don’t suddenly look up and see the kids from across the street standing on the sidewalk staring at you.
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To Rent, or Not to Rent?
The rental market here is hot (about 1% vacancy), and we’re seriously considering pulling the for sale sign that’s on our lawn and renting out our old place for a year or two.
If you do own or have owned a rental property, can you tell me what your experience has been, what we should look out for/be aware of, and whether you’d recommend it?
Thanks!
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Good Thing She's Not Taller
Dictator’s hair was a knotty mess yesterday, and the Husband jokingly suggested we shave it off, since he never gets knots in his buzzed hair.
A few minutes later, while she was in the bathroom getting started brushing her teeth, we heard, “Daddy! I need help! I can’t reach!”
Husband called back, “use your stool! You can reach your toothbrush by yourself!”
...
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Not Quite Like Juno,: Are Birth Moms Considered... →
Birthmom perspective (in italics below) on this earlier post… Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kelsey! (The section I bolded particularly resonates with me.)
itonlylookslikeimincharge:
This is an interesting opinion piece by Meika Rouda, who writes great articles for The Next Family. In this particular article, she considers the following quote found on a birthmother support...
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That Probably Has a Slightly Different Job...
I think we’ve figured out why Dictator refused to say “chiropractor” during last month’s pop quiz:
She’s now referred to him multiple times as the “pirate crapper”.
(I’m going to go ahead and suggest that we just stick with “Dr. Myron.”)
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