March 2012
61 posts
3 tags
You know the way a cat kneads the bed before it lays down? Dictator just poked and prodded me before snuggling in, then proclaimed that I’m not very comfy today.
Might have something to do with the bra I didn’t put on this morning.
Bring your own pillow next time, Kid.
3 tags
Launch Sequence
3… “Mama? I not sick.”
2… “Mama? I want a snack and a drink.”
1… “Ma-“
0… [puke]
And then we all roll over and get another half hour of sleep before the next one.
2 tags
I love you guys.
I just noticed that of the not quite anons from the other night, the ones with the most notes are the ones in which thefootlightclub and inkdot the anons were “attacking” me.
You guys are the best.
4 tags
Keeping this one in my back pocket in case I ever...
Me: Are your pants feeling a little snug?
Husband: Maybe. Well, yeah. I mean, I guess I've been putting on a little weight, but I didn't think you could tell. And it's kind of mean of you to just ask like that, even if I am getting kind of fat.
Me: You're not getting fat. You're wearing my pants.
Husband: Oh.
5 tags
3 tags
2 tags
thegorydetails replied to your post: thegorydetails replied to your post: I doubt that…
You’ll change your mind when you get a bucket of shit tossed on your head while out for a leisurely stroll.
This is why exercise is never the answer. Stay in. Sit down. Make people bring you stuff. That’s the way we pretentious bitches roll.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: What's the best way to break up a poo so that it fits down the toilet? I hate when it gets under my fingernails and then into the ground beef, so please don't suggest fingers.
2 tags
Really Brightened My Mood.
thefootlightclub:
You know what is a goddam riot of fun? Spamming itonlylookslikeimincharge your friend with all sorts of ridiculous anon questions when they get drunk on a business trip and turn on their ask box.
You guys ruined my fun.
Ruined it.
Also: Anon is always on. Why don’t you spam me more?
P.S. I had “You support masturbation” pegged as you from the...
2 tags
thegorydetails replied to your post: I doubt that your even a real blog. Totally some bullshit government sponsord website to promote adoption. Go use our dollars on important things like roads and shit.
I disagree. Spending money on sewers and sewage treatment is pretty important.
I think the old heave-a-bucket-of-excrement-out-the-window trick from the middle ages was totally reasonable and...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Gay people?
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Help me settle a bet. Best way to remove flesh from animal skulls found by the side of the freeway?
2 tags
Anonymous asked: I doubt that your even a real blog. Totally some bullshit government sponsord website to promote adoption. Go use our dollars on important things like roads and shit.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Do you ever wonder what it would be like if human vaginas were made of wood?
2 tags
juneofthemoon asked: Why are you not a never-nude? That's just pretentious.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: You support masturbation? Your hands are unclean in ways that you will never know. May God forgive you.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Does your husband let you spoon him?
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Is adoption legal in Canada?
2 tags
Anonymous asked: I get the impression from your blog that you'd be a big Santorum supporter? Is that true or should I just stop following you?
2 tags
Anonymous asked: It's called a cloaca! A bird vagina is called a cloaca.
