(Question in response to an earlier post.)

I love this story! I think I feel the same way as they must have whenever someone who doesn’t know that I’m not D’s biological mother comments on our lookalikedness - like it’s a special inside secret, and I hope that’s the way Dictator will feel about it. I hope that she feels a sense of belonging or pride when people comment on how much she looks like us. 

What I fear, though, is that those comments will highlight any sense of differentness she might feel. I worry that she may feel disloyal to her birthparents (who she definitely looks like) by accepting comments about our family resemblance, and I worry that she may feel disloyal to us if she points out that any resemblance is purely by chance. I worry that if she’s at all sensitive about being adopted, those comments will get right under her skin and heighten those sensitivities. 

I hope they’re a non-issue for her. I hope she gives me a conspiratorial little wink and accepts those comments graciously, then moves on.

But I worry. Occupational hazard, I guess.