This is why the debate in the States can’t be solely about gun control.
The Most Accurate Description of Tumblr I’ve Ever Read
Half of tumblr gives no fucks at all, while the other half gives all the fucks about every single thing.
I follow both.
It’s exhausting.
My sister in law is better than your sister in law. These are work appropriate right?!
I’m going to ignore the fact that Sarah opened her Christmas present already because I can’t stop laughing.
I also regret that I didn’t order myself a pair.
OKAY AMERICA TIME TO LISTEN THE FUCK UPI’M MAKING A BAGGED MILK TUTORIAL BECAUSE IF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS ASKS ME ONE MORE TIME HOW BAGGED MILK WORKS I’M BAGGING YOUR HEAD
HERE GOES
THIS SHIT IS MILK IN A BAG
“OMG HOLY SHIT BUT HOW DO YOU POUR IT WHERE GOES MILK HOW MILK IN MOUTH” SAYS THE AMERICAN
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN
THIS IS WHAT IS INSIDE THAT BIG BAG
THREE LITTLE BAGS THAT LOOK LIKE THIS
WOW HOLY SHIT RIGHT
THE EXTRA BAGS GO IN THIS IF YOU WANT:
AND THEN ONE OF THOSE BAGS GOES IN SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS:
OH MAN OH MAN IS THIS FREAKING YOU OUT YET WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GONNA DO
WELL I’LL FUCKING TELL YOU
YOU’RE GONNA CUT THE TIP OFF THE BAG LIKE YOU SEE UP THERE
WITH SCISSORS OR A KNIFE IF YOU’RE IMPATIENT (BUT THAT SHIT DOESN’T WORK WELL AND IT TEARS FUNNY) OR, IF YA REAL FANCY, ONE OF THESE:
ANYWAYS NOW YOUR MILK IS READY TO POUR
READY
WAIT FOR IT
OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING
HOW IS THAT MILK GETTING INTO THAT GLASS????
SHIT IS THAT MAGIC?!?!?!
NO THAT’S CANADA
YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME
but why do it that way????
it needs an extra thing
in america we value EFFICIENCY we don’t have fucking pitchers for our milk bags what the hell
do you go into a store and go ‘yeah I need a pitcher for my bags of milk’
I still think the entire country of Canada is trolling us.
What Red said.
Canadian family confirmed; bagged milk a reality.
Correction: This is how eastern Canada does it.
But Will, look - Told you so!
This is what happens when inkdot,itonlylookslikeimincharge and I watch Parenthood and have to communicate via text. (shenanigansandbookshelves would be involved but she wasn’t watching it “live”.)
itonlylooks: FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR FACES AND THE LACK OF KLEENEX IN THIS GODDAMN HOUSE.
me: We’ve been hiding our faces in our hoodies a lot.
itonlylooks: MAE WHITMAN PUT YOUR FUCKING FACE AWAY!!!
me:Can’t talk. Weeping.
me:MOST TRAUMATIC SCENE EVER.
itonlylooks: No. Nononononono. No.
me: Prepare yourself!
itonlylooks: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
inkdot: Shaking and crying!!
itonlylooks: I don’t think I can articulate my feelings in a single sentence. Or in words.
me: I’m going to go drown myself in Braverman feelings and a hot bath.
You know it’s bad when thefootlightclub is the one who appears to be the most emotionally stable in this exchange.
Every. Damn. Time.
Birthmom perspective (in italics below) on this earlier post… Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kelsey! (The section I bolded particularly resonates with me.)
This is an interesting opinion piece by Meika Rouda, who writes great articles for The Next Family. In this particular article, she considers the following quote found on a birthmother support website:
“When I am talking to another birth mom, I’m not a birth mom, I’m a mom. We don’t have to put a title on it. I can say ‘Oh my son did this or my daughter did this‘ and I can just be a mom. There are no stipulations on it, there’s no stigma. We can just be moms.”
She goes on to say that she thinks “…it is dangerous thinking for birthmothers to be sitting around talking about the children they placed like they’re the ones mothering them. It is a different job and one that adoptive moms should get the credit for.”
I don’t think that’s what this particular birthmom was saying - I think she was saying that she can be proud of her child’s accomplishments without having to explain the dynamic of their relationship (or lack of one, depending on their situation). I don’t believe she was trying to suggest that she was mothering her child at all.
Regardless of what that birthmom was trying to say, it’s the author’s suggestion that “credit” is due to anyone that bothers me the most.
This is perfect because I was actually going to make a post on this but instead, I’ll just reblog! The other day I had a woman ask me if I had any children, and I was completely stumped as to what to say. I’ve noticed in society, birth moms aren’t really considered mothers. Usually when/if I tell people that in fact, I do have a son, who I don’t raise or care for, it usually followed by things you should never say to a birth mom. People don’t view me as a mother, and sometimes I just want to scream at them. I AM a mother. I just made a different choice for my kid, which does not make me less then you. As a mother, isn’t it your responsibility to make sure your doing the best by your child? And by making an adoption plan to ensure that my son gets everything he could need, am I not doing the same thing? It’s not the same thing as being in the thick of it all, raising your kid and everything, but it does not make me less of a mother. It’s a double edged sword, really.
I look at pictures of Matthew, and I see me, I see Zakk, and I think of how beautiful and wonderful he is. But I do not see him as MINE. Rachel is his mother, but he would not be here without me. I do refer to him as my son, because he is. And he always will be. But he isn’t just my son. He is the son to four adults. And that’s the beauty in an open adoption. He has two parents, but he is the son to four people. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have a right to call him my son, and I still feel weird doing it sometimes. But I am coming to terms with the fact that’s exactly what he is. Me and Rachel are different kinds of moms.
And you know what? That’s okay.
(CNN) — My daughter occasionally goes on a hugging and kissing strike.
She’s 4. Her parents could get a hug or a kiss, but many people who know her cannot, at least right now. And I won’t make her.
“I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won’t make you do it,” I told her recently.
“I don’t have to?” she asked, cuddling up to me at bedtime, confirming the facts to be sure.
No, she doesn’t have to. And just to be clear, there is no passive-aggressive, conditional, manipulative nonsense behind my statement. I mean what I say. She doesn’t have to hug or kiss anyone just because I say so, not even me. I will not override my own child’s currently strong instincts to back off from touching someone who she chooses not to touch.
I figure her body is actually hers, not mine.
It doesn’t belong to her parents, preschool teacher, dance teacher or soccer coach. While she must treat people with respect, she doesn’t have to offer physical affection to please them. And the earlier she learns ownership of herself and responsibility for her body, the better for her.
(More at the source.)
Dictator shakes hands when she doesn’t want to hug someone. We’re not teaching her to be rude; we’re teaching her to respect her own feelings and to have ownership of her own body.
From the article: “even shy kids can shake somebody’s hand or wave or do something to communicate respect and care. Manners — treating people with respect and care — is different than demanding physical displays of affection.”
A-freaking-men.
Motherfucker, Im awesome.
Awesome, indeed.
@shenanigansandbookshelves, this is how you draw Angelina.
I have found that people like to point out things that are similar between Dipper and I. Like “Oh she has blonde hair like you!” or “You both have hands.” And I know that they mean well but sometimes I get annoyed thinking that they are trying to reassure me that I am her mother or that we actually do belong together. Is this common for other adoptive parents? Am I the only grouch that gets annoyed by it? Is it because she and I are both white? If we were different races would this happen? We really dont look alike at all. She is like a tiny blonde princess fairy and I am a dirty blonde troll.
…
We get this all the time, and to be fair, Dictator looks a lot like I did as a kid. I love the comparisons when they come from people who don’t know that she was adopted, because then it’s truly just an observation and I get to relish in the knowledge that someone thinks my kid looks like me.
When the comments come from people who do know that Dictator was adopted, it’s a little different. I think I’m always on the lookout for a note of that “reassurance” that nickyhawkins talks about above, or people saying it to somehow dismiss or ignore the fact that D was adopted. It’s totally my issue, not theirs, and I know it. But it still gets under my skin.
I am not, however oddly, offended when people say, “I just can’t get over how much she looks like you! What are the odds?” or something to that affect. For some reason, the mere fact that someone who says it like that (essentially acknowledging the role adoption played in our lives) makes it okay for me.
…So, yeah. Talking out of both sides of my mouth since 1980.
I’m talking to my case worker about being able to talk to other people who are considering placing and talking to adoptive parents before they get their books together for the agency. I don’t think Zakk will be interested in doing it since he’s so private about the adoption but it’s something I definitely want to do. I’ve gotten to talk to a lot of people through this blog and if I can help anyone else in another way, I want to be able to do it! Whether it’s fellow birth moms, or adoptive parents, I want a part in it!
This was by far the most interesting and informative part of the entire adoption education process for me – meeting and talking to birthmothers and adoptive parents who have been through it all (not to mention that it was a much-needed break from listening to the agency’s director talk about statistics and processes for two and a half straight days).
After Dictator was born, we had an opportunity to speak to a group of prospective adoptive parents at an education seminar, and it was really cool to be the couple with the happy baby sitting at the front of the room answering their questions. (Of course, when asked some questions about openness, we answered honestly about our experience and our situation, including the text from birthmom the night Dictator was born. Oddly, despite the fact that we stressed repeatedly that our situation was unusual and not right for everyone, the agency never asked us to return… Hm.)
I also know that Dictator’s birthmother talked to other pregnant women privately at the agency’s request, which seemed to be very therapeutic for her (and I’m sure, very helpful for the women who came to the agency to talk about their options).
So, to Kelsey: I’m glad you’re sharing your story. You have the opportunity to help people on all sides of adoption, and that’s so important.
To other people involved in adoption: Did you talk to other prospective birth- or adoptive parents before choosing adoption? Was it particularly helpful, not worth the time, etc.?
(For some reason, I can’t enable answers on this post, but ask is open and anon is on!)
Pay it Forward 2012
I will make something handmade for the first 5 people who comment. They must in return post this and make something for the first 5 people who comment (it can be crafty or even just a cup of coffee). The rules are simple: it must be made by you and be received before 2012 ends. Let creative kindness and thinking of others begin! :)
Because I can always use an excuse to make things. Oh, and kindness and thinking of others are nice, too.
Names
We are curious… For all the birth parents and adoptive parents out there: Who picked the baby’s name? Any special reason? Any arguments about who got to choose? Just wondering….
Ready for a long story?
I just finished wrapping our advent calendar. A book a day for 24 days - and that will be our first bedtime book that night. At the end of January I’ll put the Christmas/Winter books away for a year so we can do this again next December…
This is ingenious.
I have an advent calendar that I fill with activities (e.g. build a snowman, have dessert before dinner, camp out in the living room with the Christmas tree) because I can’t stand those horrible chocolate ones (yes, I buy my kid one anyway. I’m not a monster), but this… this is brilliant.
Well done, Madam Pirate. Well done.
In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month I decided to re-post something I wrote last year…
My little boy is getting so big. He knows all his letters, he can count to 20, he can dress himself (I have no idea if all newly made 3 year olds can do this or not but I’m naturally assuming he is…
A post from one of my favourite Tumblr-ers Tumblrs Tumblrites people. This is the first post of hers that I ever read, and I promise, it’s a gooder. Click through to read the whole post.
It’s National Adoption Awareness Month. Ask me anything!
